Vegas Vacation

This weekend the Illegal Segel team headed down to Vegas, to soak up some sun, spend some well earned cash and try to find leads to our favorite filmstar's whereabouts.

Because we aren't big spenders (right now...someday, someday) we ended up staying at The Tropicana, where our ceilings had mirrors above the beds and high rollers used to do coke off the formica counters back in 1987 while hookers were sudsing in the jacuzzi in the middle of the bedroom.

(lessoned learned: spend a bit more on the hotel just so you don't think about bed bugs for the majority of your day)

But since it was only one night, caution was

thrown to the wind (after a few upgrades they finally put us in a room that didn't feel haunted or covered in decade old sperm).

We commenced our search by heading over to the PH pool, tasting delectable pasteries at Amore Patisserie at the Mandarin (this is where NB will stay from now on). In the evening we headed over to NoBu, meeting up with some friends, where we partied and drank and ate and drank and laughed and drank until 3am. The evening led to two possible Segel leads and a new one degree separation from the Kardashians.

That evening, in the HRH, there was a film crew and guess who had happened to follow us from Los Angeles to LV, but one of the star's of The Hills, Brody Jenner. Upon seeing Jenner, someoneone in our party goes "oh, what a douche bag."

For some reason this translated into teabag and I said "I bet he likes teabags the d-bag."

NB shrieked with laughter and dared me to go ask Jenner if he did indeed like teabagging.

(I'd already done a few other dares a few drinks before so going up to the reality star and asking this did not seem daunting, this is what followed)

Tapping him on the shoulder, he is in an 80's style tank top with sunglasses it is 11pm at night in a casino...(it reminds me of pictures of my Dad on a cruise to Jamaica in 1988 minus the mustache)

J: " Excuse me, I was asked to ask you a question"

B: Smiling, "ok"

J: "Do you likeTeabagging?"

B: Smile disappears "Do you know what that means?":

J:" Yes, of course I do"

B: "Well then FUCK YOU"

( the most vehement, genuine f-u I have EVER received)

Jenner then turned away and stormed out of the

casino....

I guess to him it means having balls in his mouth, when in my head it meant the balls were in my mouth... my bad.

Later that night we met a pretentious film person who proceeded to talk to us about Apatow, Spielberg and that his trip was for free since he was here to look at guns for one of the directors he works with and that his losing a couple of grand was nothing...We were not impressed by Orlando Bloom's number in your celly or your thinking we are good enough to talk to because we know what an NDA is.

BUT the real golden nugget of the night was a possible lead we got from a friend, who like us, lives in El Lay. He personally has seen Segel at The Den many a night, and suggested we go there...

But for now we are back in El Lay, our "reality," planning the next move to get closer to Segel...it might just include wenches, steins of beer, drumsticks and age old buffoonery that can get you time in the stocks.