Exploring- Why Segel?

So why are we trying to find Jason Segel and not Judd Apatow or Seth Rogen?

Well, I have a friend that is Rogen's doppleganger so I didn't feel the need to jump on that train. Granted the co-author would LOVE to meet Seth Rogen (and Seth Green), and bone him (maybe in a threesome?)...but Rogen probably gets so much ass his bone is tired so... lets move on to WHY SEGEL?

Not only is this man funny and tall, he loves muppets, cheese and doing the penis dance. (All men do it, let's face it, but you always smile when you find one who does it with conviction.)

- He is one of the CHOSEN PEOPLE

- Word on the street is that he is NICE (wording may have been "sweetheart" from an anonymous source)

- In Freaks and Geeks he played a stoner, in Can't Hardly Wait he played a stoner, in Knocked Up he played a stoner, so chances are...

- He isn't afraid of being behind the scenes, writers are hot (yeah, I'd do Herman Melvile and Tolstoy in a second!)

- He knows what a doppleganger is

- He loves puppets and muppets

- He appreciates the human form and is comfortable being in the nude, like Harvey Keitel, he can clean my piano any day

- He appreciates beautiful, FUNNY women

- He can play the drums and the piano and the triangle; all musicians are hot...not just bassists! (disclaimer: I can't confirm Mr. Segal plays the triangle, but in my imagination he does, especially with a handlebar mustache)

- He jumped off a cliff ...in Hawaii...for a movie, but it shows a sense of adventure and every girl loves a bad boy

- He could easily have been cast in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers...anyone over 6'2" should know how to dance on a rolling log

- He performed with Swell Season (let's face it anyone who saw Once, and loves that music enough to contact the musicians and has a penis deserves to see a lot of female genitalia.)

- Based on IMDB his mom has the same name as me, so you know he was raised by someone awesome

What would you add to this list?