The Alleged Resume of Mr. Segel

I'm sure Mr. Segel has perhaps at one time had a not so cool job, but based on his IMDB profile he has been working in the entertainment industry since 1998 (they don't include any of his time at Boulevard3 as a go-go dancer...I swear I saw him in a banana thong there once)

Here is a quick Timeline of shows and movies you might have seen him in

(sorry Mr. Segel, I omitted a lot due to sheer ignorance and indifference)

1998

"Can't Hardly Wait"

Watermelon Guy

1998

"SLC Punk!"

Mike

1999-2000

"Freaks and Geeks"

Nick Andopolis

2001-2002

"Undeclared"

Eric

2002

"Slackers"

Sam Schechter

2004-2005

"CSI"

Neil Jansen

2007

"Knocked Up"

Jason

2007

"Knocked Up"

Jason

2008

"Forgetting Sarah Marshall"

Peter Bretter

2009

"I Love You, Man"

Sydney Fife

2005-2010

"How I Met Your Mother"

Marshall Eriksen

thanks IMDB!

Exploring- Why Segel?

So why are we trying to find Jason Segel and not Judd Apatow or Seth Rogen?

Well, I have a friend that is Rogen's doppleganger so I didn't feel the need to jump on that train. Granted the co-author would LOVE to meet Seth Rogen (and Seth Green), and bone him (maybe in a threesome?)...but Rogen probably gets so much ass his bone is tired so... lets move on to WHY SEGEL?

Not only is this man funny and tall, he loves muppets, cheese and doing the penis dance. (All men do it, let's face it, but you always smile when you find one who does it with conviction.)

- He is one of the CHOSEN PEOPLE

- Word on the street is that he is NICE (wording may have been "sweetheart" from an anonymous source)

- In Freaks and Geeks he played a stoner, in Can't Hardly Wait he played a stoner, in Knocked Up he played a stoner, so chances are...

- He isn't afraid of being behind the scenes, writers are hot (yeah, I'd do Herman Melvile and Tolstoy in a second!)

- He knows what a doppleganger is

- He loves puppets and muppets

- He appreciates the human form and is comfortable being in the nude, like Harvey Keitel, he can clean my piano any day

- He appreciates beautiful, FUNNY women

- He can play the drums and the piano and the triangle; all musicians are hot...not just bassists! (disclaimer: I can't confirm Mr. Segal plays the triangle, but in my imagination he does, especially with a handlebar mustache)

- He jumped off a cliff ...in Hawaii...for a movie, but it shows a sense of adventure and every girl loves a bad boy

- He could easily have been cast in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers...anyone over 6'2" should know how to dance on a rolling log

- He performed with Swell Season (let's face it anyone who saw Once, and loves that music enough to contact the musicians and has a penis deserves to see a lot of female genitalia.)

- Based on IMDB his mom has the same name as me, so you know he was raised by someone awesome

What would you add to this list?